Benoit Murder/Suicide Called "Best WWE Plot Twist Yet"

Former WWE wrestler Chris Benoit was found dead Tuesday, the instigator of an apparent murder/suicide that may be the most exciting thing to happen to professional wrestling entertainment since WrestleMania. Hundreds of delinquent, illiterate teens gathered outside the police tape at Benoit's Fayetteville, Georgia home to cheer on their hero.

"He just always makes it look so real!" marvelled Tony Porter, a lifelong fan of Benoit's work and muscular physique.

"For them to have him whack his entire family with folding chairs--that's just great writing!" crowed Chuck Hanson, pumping his fist enthusiastically in the air, proudly displaying a sweat-stained wristband that Benoit himself threw into the crowd following his WCW World Heavyweight Championship win in 2000. "This is a helluva way for my man to stage his comeback!"

The growing throng of fans milled about, hoping to catch a further glimpse of the crime scene, as the sound of camera phones snapped in the air along with speculation: "Five bucks says that Booker T is behind this!" "I can't wait for McMahon to write the next chapter of this shit!"

Police investigators say that eyewitnesses "could have sworn" that the folding chairs actually DID hit their intended targets, but if the man wielding the chair was a "perfeshunnal wrassler" that maybe he did pull his punches a bit.

Anyone at DW2K7 could have jumped off the top rope for a whopping 120 points, but we didn't see it coming, since we know that steroids don't have an effect on mood and that wrestling is all totally real.