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Reclusive chess Grandmaster Bobby Fischer played an exhibition match against our Dark Lord, Mephistopholes, earlier this week. Fischer had been quoted before the game as saying, "Satan's probably been too busy spewing brimstone for the last several centuries to have seriously taken up chess. so I should breeze through! After all, I beat Spassky, didn't I?"

When Beezlebub came out with a feeble opening move of f6, America's Cold War hero responded playfully with an attempt to "Fool's Mate" Old Hickory on the game's second turn. Unfortunatley for Bobby, Lucifer was just pulling a feint to mask the setting up of the Sicilian Defense. Fischer's hubris doomed him. After several hours of play, the devil castled queenside, and on the next turn growled across the table, "Rook to King's Knight seven...CHECKMATE!"

The Ruler of Darkness then took possession of Fischer's soul. When Fischer protested that he had only agreed to an exhibition game, Old Scratch replied, "Dude, I'm the fucking devil--you probably shouldn't have trusted me."

No DW2K7ers got queened with the 36 points for his death, and instead will have to watch the Joe Mantegna, Joan Allen and Ben Kingsley movie from the early 90's as a consolation prize. (Remember Larry Fishburne as the "too cool for school" speed chess player from Washington Square Park? God, I miss the 90's!)