Dark Lord Finally Calls In Marker on Rizzuto's Soul

More than a half a century ago, Phil Rizzuto sold his soul to the devil in a steal of a deal: seven World Series titles. Which just goes to show you how bad inflation has gotten when people like O.J. trade their souls in nowadays and only get a measly double-homicide acquittal.

Now look, I don't traffic in souls, I merely reap them when it's time. But between you and me, I think the Scooter's claim ticket must have fallen behind the counter down in H-E-double hockey sticks.

Speculation around the nether plane is that when Satan's beer league softball team fell two games behind the rival Christtown Jesuses, that Satan finally remembered to "draft" Scooter into eternal fiery service.

I haven't been this giddy since I painted blue skies and clouds on the side of the building that Cory Lidle slammed into last autumn. EFF THE YANKEES!!

Yankee-hater and former shortstop Kerberos finally breaks out of his slump and earns a robust 11 points for knowing that Rizzuto had Holied his last Cow.