Fat Lady Sings Sang

Beverly Sills, best known for an appearance on The Muppet Show in 1979, died of cancer yesterday at the age of 78.

Although most Americans are not familiar with her work outside of The Muppet Show, Ms. Sills was, the Associated Press is saying, a singer of some sort. When asked if she'd ever performed with Justin Timberlake, a spokesman for Ms. Sills' estate began crying.

Whoever she was, Muppet-lovers across the country are in mourning for "that one guest who sang and shit. I think maybe her name was Shields? Or Yarnell? Pass me the bong."

No player on DW2K7 was aware enough of Ms. Sills' life to have predicted her death.