Evel's Casket Modded So He May Continue to Fail for All Eternity
Evel Knievel passed away last week from complications of being a degenerate, drunk, Hepatitis C-ridden, faux-born-again one-trick-pony. When not busy miscalculating physics and grossly missing jumps (courtesy of a high school dropout's education,) the galactically stupid Knievel liked to drink, abuse women and/or children, vote members of the Bush family into public office, miss even MORE jumps, and overdose on painkillers.
While Knievel seemingly wasn't afraid of my grim touch, he appeared to be deathly afraid of how my boy, J.Christ, would view his seven decades of wasted life. Knowing death was coming soon, Evel was publicly "saved" in early 2007 on televangelist Robert H. Schuller's *cough* douche *cough* Hour of Power television program. I call bullshit. What a complete Nancy. So much for going out in a blaze of glory and leaving a pretty corpse.
Death By Creamy Liquid slurps down 31 points worth of marrow from the broken bones left from Knievel's crash landing into eternal Hell. Good riddance.
3 comments:
who ever left the shit about evel knievel is a fuckin pussy. as man with hair on my balls(yes i am making fun of you) that is a slap on the face of america. you pussy ass cum guzzeling road whore
Hmmm, what have we here? An "anonymous" commenter calling someone a pussy? Seriously, you don't see the irony here? Perhaps you were too busy proudly primping and grooming those tens of testicular hairs to type in your name?
I do appreciate that your wit, Anonymous, is so rapier-sharp that you had to parenthetically let me know that you were making fun of me. Were your writing skills any more feeble, I might have mistaken them for one of Evel's attempted "jumps." From your sentence structure, spelling and (lack of) punctuation, one could deduce that you dropped out of school to follow in the footsteps of your crash dummy role model. "Besides," you thought to yourself while squirting sour cream onto a chalupa, "Who needs all that fancy book learnin' anyway?"
If my documentation of Evel's lifetime of failure offended your obviously fragile sensibilities, then I apologize, and bid you good day, sir.
In closing, allow me to quote directly from your comment: "...evel knievel is a fuckin pussy."
Eat my ass,
Grim
Oh, shit!
Anonymous, I forgot to write "(yes I am making fun of you)" after every sentence in my previous comment!
Can you pretend that I remembered to do so, so that you're not confused as to what I'm saying?
Thanks.
Grim
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