Please, Don't Squeeze the Reaper!

Actor Dick Wilson*, a.k.a. Charmin's anal-retentive, squeeze-o-phobic grocer, "Mr. Whipple," died last week at the age of 91. When not busy policing middle-aged women trying to cop a feel of his beloved toilet tissue, Wilson played forgettable parts in even more forgettable television shows. Wilson's character, Whipple, exhibited classic conservative Republican behavior in that he publicly railed against a particular behavior (in this case 'squeezing the Charmin') only to then particpate lustily in the forbidden frolic the moment nobody was looking. If only Whipple had known that while he was in there hugging his TP, he could have just tapped his foot under the stall divider...

Through the years, Wilson also did a recurring guest spot on Bewitched, which makes him the third dead alternate-lifestyles Dick from that show!

Nobody managed to 'squeeze' out the meager 9 points from his being 'wiped' out.

*Seriously, if I put a hyperlink in here, would ANYONE follow it?